is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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