I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
