i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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