I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
