She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
