Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
