We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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