mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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