The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Randomize
