THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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