Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
