Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
No subtext here. People are naked.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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