I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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