Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
