The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Well I just put wine in my tea
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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