i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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