i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
