Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
