So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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