how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You made out with two different species that night
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
