My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
