And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
