Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
