I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
