It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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