She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
