If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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