She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
