Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Two words: blizzard sex
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
