Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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