Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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