Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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