I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
