So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
