The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
