What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
