just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
