oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
