he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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