They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
