..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You're so nebulous sometimes
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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