What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
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