stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
