Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just gift wrapped bread.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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