Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
