I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
