At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
