it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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