I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Blood and glitter go together right?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
