Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
