How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
