She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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