living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
