Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
