She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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